My Mom has been on my mind a lot lately. She has been living in an assisted care/nursing facility quite unhappily for many years now and I worry about the quality of her life.
Even more to the point, the lack of quality in her life.
Bernice went from zero to sixty in under ten seconds. From hale and hearty -- a homeowner doing her own driving, weeding, cooking, cleaning, shopping -- to complete dependency. Virtually overnight. I think that's an awful lot to take, even with fair warning.
Always a vibrant, independent personality, she has expended considerable energy resisting settling into her current digs. Having been there a few times, I can empathize with her lack of interest.
But what can be done? She needs 24 hour care and is in a wheelchair. None of us have the set-up, schedule flexibility or money to make it happen in our homes. Regardless of the reality, it makes me feel badly to think of her ever-narrowing life.
When my Dad died I made a pact with myself to call her daily. For the most part, I am quite successful, although, believe it or not, she can be hard to get on the phone sometimes! It's amazing how much a five or ten minute conversation means to her.
Major, major kudos to my sister Susan, who is a daily force in her life. And as is generally the case, Mom takes her frustration out on her, the most devoted and available.
Here I am, 150 miles away with thrice yearly visits, and she treats me like a Queen.
You'd think with 7 children she would be up to her elbows in visitors every day. Unfortunately, we are typical ugly Americans with frenetic lifestyles which often preclude doing the right thing for elderly parents.
That being said, I'm off to call my sweet ole Ma...
1 comment:
Don't feel bad, my Grandparents live next door and I rarely have time to see them. You're doing great.
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